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Today was the food handler’s class to renew my health card. WooHoo! I seriously wish that they would just let us take the test and skip the class (nearly two hours of zzzzzzzzz). However, thanks to a very innovative instructor, I do feel as if I came out of the class better informed. Would you like to hear the things the State of Washington feels important for every Barista to know?
One should not eat raw cougar meat. Even if one has watched a television show where people must kill wild animals and eat them without the benefit of fire. This is even less intelligent when one is mere miles from civilization and their only reason for killing the animal and eating it raw is “Because it sounded fun”. I didn’t think I would ever have to say this, but boys and girls – DO NOT KILL A WILD COUGAR AND EAT OVER A POUND OF RAW MEAT THAT YOU HAVE GNAWED DIRECTLY OFF ITS BONES. Thanks to the idiot that did just that and got something called trichinosis (apparently very nasty business, put him on a respirator) it has now become part of the course.
If you are making food and you cut your glove, make sure you take it off and get a new one. DO NOT DUCT TAPE IT. I know, I know! Duct tape is a miracle creation and good for many things, but it does not belong in a kitchen!!
A classic from last time I had to take the class: DO NOT BEFRIEND ANY MICE! Call an exterminator. Kill them dead. Even if you feed them they will not dance and sing and do your chores for you.
Then she threatened to violate us. I was scared. She said, and I quote: “If I see you coming out of the bathroom and you haven’t washed your hands twice I will violate you!” She used her angry voice and dropped her binder on the table loudly. NOW I did not plan to do such a thing in the first place, but after realizing the severity of the consequences I might wash my hands a dozen times. Or more. As soon as the giggles in the room made her realize what she had said, she did correct herself and say she would write up a violation. Unfortunately the damage is already done. I’m scared. I would go on, but I think I need to wash my hands again.
One should not eat raw cougar meat. Even if one has watched a television show where people must kill wild animals and eat them without the benefit of fire. This is even less intelligent when one is mere miles from civilization and their only reason for killing the animal and eating it raw is “Because it sounded fun”. I didn’t think I would ever have to say this, but boys and girls – DO NOT KILL A WILD COUGAR AND EAT OVER A POUND OF RAW MEAT THAT YOU HAVE GNAWED DIRECTLY OFF ITS BONES. Thanks to the idiot that did just that and got something called trichinosis (apparently very nasty business, put him on a respirator) it has now become part of the course.
If you are making food and you cut your glove, make sure you take it off and get a new one. DO NOT DUCT TAPE IT. I know, I know! Duct tape is a miracle creation and good for many things, but it does not belong in a kitchen!!
A classic from last time I had to take the class: DO NOT BEFRIEND ANY MICE! Call an exterminator. Kill them dead. Even if you feed them they will not dance and sing and do your chores for you.
Then she threatened to violate us. I was scared. She said, and I quote: “If I see you coming out of the bathroom and you haven’t washed your hands twice I will violate you!” She used her angry voice and dropped her binder on the table loudly. NOW I did not plan to do such a thing in the first place, but after realizing the severity of the consequences I might wash my hands a dozen times. Or more. As soon as the giggles in the room made her realize what she had said, she did correct herself and say she would write up a violation. Unfortunately the damage is already done. I’m scared. I would go on, but I think I need to wash my hands again.
