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I totally blame this on a combo of a messenger chat with and the fact I had a bad day. How bad a day? You don’t want to know. No really you don’t. I typed up a whole rant and then deleted it because it was too bitchy for me to even stomach. So what did I do instead? Inner Ianto played RP Chat with Andy ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
pergirl14, and then later with Jack tardistenantsue. I sort of had Ianto get run over by Hart. It was a hit and run because Ianto was poking where Hart didn’t think he ought. Yes I took my bad day out on fictional characters. Would you rather I take it out on you? I thought not. So anyhow, when Japonica went to do dull RL things (paint. Ick) and Nikki was sleeping (stupid timey wimey zones) I decided to work on getting Ianto patched up on my own. Least I could do after imagining him into that situation. Except I’m not really sure even that turned out so well…
Anyhow, it's silly and goofy and wierd but I nearly managed to cheer myself up with it so I'm sharing with you guys (especially you guys who abandoned me on messenger!)
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“Damn it! Just get over here and apply pressure, okay? I need…” Ianto flinched and nearly growled as he tried to tighten the bandages one handed. “I wish I had an extra set of hands. “ He struggled to remember why exactly it had seemed so important to send the ambulance crew away earlier. No way was he going to manage to bandage himself up without passing out again. Jack just kept up with his irritating pacing. Looking for Hart? Like he was going to hang around down the block and watch. He was probably long gone.
Jack finally came back over to “help.” Except it wasn’t exactly a helpful brand of help. He was applying pressure, but…
“No! Don’t apply pressure there. That is not where the bleeding is coming from. Are you being purposely dense?” Ianto was not pleased at Jack’s attempt to cop a feel. “Times like these I wish we had a medic.”
“What? Am I not good enough? I’ve experience you know! Between the wars and that one month I spent locked away with those nurses…” Jack drifted into memory until Ianto snapped his fingers in his face, bringing him back to focus. “What I’m saying is I can help. And I can’t help we lost our medic! Would you rather have his help than mine anyway?”
“No I’m not wishing Owen back. Well, maybe a little, but no more than normal. How about a medic without the snippiness next time? “
“You’re snippier than him on his worst, or is it best, day!” Jack felt the need to defend their late, late friend.
“I’m allowed to snip! I’m the one bleeding here! I meant as a medic, nice bedside manner and…”
“Well if it’s a good bedside manner you want…”Jack’s hand drifted again.
“And the ability to apply pressure in a non pervy way?!”
“It’s not such a big deal, you’ll be fine. Sure there is a puddle of blood, but I’ve cut myself worse shaving.” The size of the puddle was actually started to concern Jack, but damned if he’d let Ianto know. The leg had been taken care of by the time he arrived, but the arm looked a mess. Best thing to do was distract him until he was patched up well enough to move.
“You have not cut yourself worse shaving.” Ianto looked at the huge gash, and then back to Jack in disbelief.
“Did so! You complained about blood stains in the grout for months after!”
“Okay so maybe there was that one day, even so - it doesn’t apply!” Ianto did remember that day. It was not a fond memory.
“How? I actually died! All you’ve done is mess up the road, made Andy direct traffic around you and passed out a couple times! I DIED.”
“Why doesn’t that count? Because you came back, you dolt. Also – You were juggling a straight edged razor. Accident waiting to happen! Told you then and I’m telling you now – Not getting any sympathy from me.”
“Fair enough.” Jack patted the newly bandaged Ianto. “You should hold together till we can get an expert at you. All you needed was a bit of distraction and my help.”
“Distract? Wait. You’re done? What do you know…it worked. And you managed to stop the bleeding. Good work, I guess. “ Ianto poked at the bandage. It certainly did seem secure. Jack was probably right about getting an expert though. He was going to need stitches, he was sure of it.
“You guess? I can show you some of my best work if you give me half a chance.” Jack flashed his trademark grin.
“No. I still don’t want the pressure there. “ Ianto stopped him with a glare.
“Why not?”
“Because I just nearly died!!” Honestly! Ianto couldn’t figure where the man’s sympathy had gone.
“But you didn’t! I have died and would still not turn you down, Ianto Jones.” While not always true, sometimes coming back took a lot out of him, Jack figured it still worked as an argument.
“You die all the time! Not exactly newsworthy, Jack.“ Ianto knew this wasn’t true as well, he hated each and every time he knew Jack died.
“I don’t die all the time! You make it sound as if I regularly drop dead while running errands!” Jack sure hoped Ianto was kidding, making fun of his habit of not remaining consistently alive!
“Maybe not ‘all the time’, but you make quite a habit of it. If I was waiting for a non death adjacent in I’d never get a chance at you.”
“You want a chance now? Best not to pass up an opportunity to ‘get at me’ seeing as I constantly drop dead on you. Oops too late.” Jack let his head fall to the side, sticking out his tongue in the lamest impression of death Ianto had seen done by any person over the age of 4.
“No, I’m not saying I want a chance at you now.” Ianto couldn’t help but sigh, as he pushed on Jack. “You’re giving me a headache too.”
“Have I got the perfect headache cure for you!” Jack was nothing if not persistent.
pergirl14, and then later with Jack tardistenantsue. I sort of had Ianto get run over by Hart. It was a hit and run because Ianto was poking where Hart didn’t think he ought. Yes I took my bad day out on fictional characters. Would you rather I take it out on you? I thought not. So anyhow, when Japonica went to do dull RL things (paint. Ick) and Nikki was sleeping (stupid timey wimey zones) I decided to work on getting Ianto patched up on my own. Least I could do after imagining him into that situation. Except I’m not really sure even that turned out so well…Anyhow, it's silly and goofy and wierd but I nearly managed to cheer myself up with it so I'm sharing with you guys (especially you guys who abandoned me on messenger!)
------
“Damn it! Just get over here and apply pressure, okay? I need…” Ianto flinched and nearly growled as he tried to tighten the bandages one handed. “I wish I had an extra set of hands. “ He struggled to remember why exactly it had seemed so important to send the ambulance crew away earlier. No way was he going to manage to bandage himself up without passing out again. Jack just kept up with his irritating pacing. Looking for Hart? Like he was going to hang around down the block and watch. He was probably long gone.
Jack finally came back over to “help.” Except it wasn’t exactly a helpful brand of help. He was applying pressure, but…
“No! Don’t apply pressure there. That is not where the bleeding is coming from. Are you being purposely dense?” Ianto was not pleased at Jack’s attempt to cop a feel. “Times like these I wish we had a medic.”
“What? Am I not good enough? I’ve experience you know! Between the wars and that one month I spent locked away with those nurses…” Jack drifted into memory until Ianto snapped his fingers in his face, bringing him back to focus. “What I’m saying is I can help. And I can’t help we lost our medic! Would you rather have his help than mine anyway?”
“No I’m not wishing Owen back. Well, maybe a little, but no more than normal. How about a medic without the snippiness next time? “
“You’re snippier than him on his worst, or is it best, day!” Jack felt the need to defend their late, late friend.
“I’m allowed to snip! I’m the one bleeding here! I meant as a medic, nice bedside manner and…”
“Well if it’s a good bedside manner you want…”Jack’s hand drifted again.
“And the ability to apply pressure in a non pervy way?!”
“It’s not such a big deal, you’ll be fine. Sure there is a puddle of blood, but I’ve cut myself worse shaving.” The size of the puddle was actually started to concern Jack, but damned if he’d let Ianto know. The leg had been taken care of by the time he arrived, but the arm looked a mess. Best thing to do was distract him until he was patched up well enough to move.
“You have not cut yourself worse shaving.” Ianto looked at the huge gash, and then back to Jack in disbelief.
“Did so! You complained about blood stains in the grout for months after!”
“Okay so maybe there was that one day, even so - it doesn’t apply!” Ianto did remember that day. It was not a fond memory.
“How? I actually died! All you’ve done is mess up the road, made Andy direct traffic around you and passed out a couple times! I DIED.”
“Why doesn’t that count? Because you came back, you dolt. Also – You were juggling a straight edged razor. Accident waiting to happen! Told you then and I’m telling you now – Not getting any sympathy from me.”
“Fair enough.” Jack patted the newly bandaged Ianto. “You should hold together till we can get an expert at you. All you needed was a bit of distraction and my help.”
“Distract? Wait. You’re done? What do you know…it worked. And you managed to stop the bleeding. Good work, I guess. “ Ianto poked at the bandage. It certainly did seem secure. Jack was probably right about getting an expert though. He was going to need stitches, he was sure of it.
“You guess? I can show you some of my best work if you give me half a chance.” Jack flashed his trademark grin.
“No. I still don’t want the pressure there. “ Ianto stopped him with a glare.
“Why not?”
“Because I just nearly died!!” Honestly! Ianto couldn’t figure where the man’s sympathy had gone.
“But you didn’t! I have died and would still not turn you down, Ianto Jones.” While not always true, sometimes coming back took a lot out of him, Jack figured it still worked as an argument.
“You die all the time! Not exactly newsworthy, Jack.“ Ianto knew this wasn’t true as well, he hated each and every time he knew Jack died.
“I don’t die all the time! You make it sound as if I regularly drop dead while running errands!” Jack sure hoped Ianto was kidding, making fun of his habit of not remaining consistently alive!
“Maybe not ‘all the time’, but you make quite a habit of it. If I was waiting for a non death adjacent in I’d never get a chance at you.”
“You want a chance now? Best not to pass up an opportunity to ‘get at me’ seeing as I constantly drop dead on you. Oops too late.” Jack let his head fall to the side, sticking out his tongue in the lamest impression of death Ianto had seen done by any person over the age of 4.
“No, I’m not saying I want a chance at you now.” Ianto couldn’t help but sigh, as he pushed on Jack. “You’re giving me a headache too.”
“Have I got the perfect headache cure for you!” Jack was nothing if not persistent.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 01:35 am (UTC)From:I LOLed.
Methinks someone isn't getting laid anytime soon.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 02:30 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 01:43 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 02:31 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 04:02 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 04:05 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 04:07 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 04:10 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 04:12 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 05:16 am (UTC)From:Someone's sleeping on the couch tonight isn't he? He is worse than persistent!
no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 01:26 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 07:02 am (UTC)From:Nor would he direct traffic around Ianto's body.
As much as you insist he will.
Also, obviously, jack would be getting a feel!
no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 01:22 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 04:57 pm (UTC)From:That is the traffic police officer's job!
no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 08:44 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 09:11 pm (UTC)From:He outranks me!
no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 09:23 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 10:06 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 01:41 am (UTC)From:I am sorry (sor-ree) for abandoning you on messenger. I didn't mean to. Really.
But I LOVED your crack. it is SO Jack to be trying to molest Ianto while he is injured. I kinda wish Ianto did get distracted by Jack though. And maybe Andy could come to see how Ianto is doing and catch them. The naughty boys :)
I love you and am so proud of you and SO happy that you wrote.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 01:45 am (UTC)From:I am happy you loved it, and if Jack has succeeded it would have turned into one of your stories, and while I am very fond of reading them I wouldn't even know where to begin trying to write it. Sorry (that's sawree), but you're stuck with this :P
no subject
Date: 2009-08-19 05:22 am (UTC)From: