patelyne: (Default)


...and my totebags have Things in them. Lots of things because Sue is fucking awesome (and adorable, can't forget the adorable) and I am spoiled. Wonderfully wonderfully spoiled. Even though I didn't get to go to Comic Con myself *sadface* she's come back with pics, vids, stories and prezzies (did I mention the prezzies?) so that I can pretend I was there. All without the excitement of days on a bus.

PICTURES! PICTURES! )

In other, much smaller news, I HAVE KNIT AN IMPOSSIBLY TINY BEAR!




He has absolutely nothing to do with the awesomeness/adorableness that is my newly returned Sue, but I couldn't help but show him off.
patelyne: (Default)
Okay tiniest bit of explanation for those not following TWNZ. There is a clone of Jack named Yancy. Yancy got a little friendly with the TARDIS and became ‘with coral’ (read: pregnant) Working theory is that the actual TARDIS (read: mommy) kidnapped the coral from him and travelled back in time to give it to Jack to raise in the hub.



Look at that family photo. Least Jack could have done is smile. Sheesh.
And here’s a lovely solo portrait (Who's a cute baby TARDIS? YOU ARE!!)



So in messenger one day I spouted a random … something. From Jack to his grandbaby coral:

Sand and oatmeal. You're lucky little one. You get a smooth surface and a heat lamp. I had grit and the searing sun. Sure I shove you off the desk occasionally, but Grandda's got needs
Ianto always apologizes and dusts you off after. Toughen up.
---
Couple days later in messenger:

Sue: g'pa, do you haz any new tales?
Me: *thinks*
Seems weird to raise his own grandkid. Grandkid that looks exactly like his own child with her would have looked. Funny thing, genetics. Guess he didn't miss the opportunity after all.
*adjusts desklamp for optimal exposure to the rays*
Sue: aww - does the grandkid have a name?
Me: not yet
Sue: that's shamefull
Me: says the dad
(she is Yancy, after all)
Sue: in yancy's defence, the TARDIS ran off with him/her/it
---
Now this one I started in my notebook to share, but I never finished it. I actually stopped mid sentence AND CAN’T REMEMBER WHERE I WAS GOING WITH IT. It was two weeks ago, but still.
CAN ANYONE HELP ME FINISH THE LAST SENTENCE?

One sided chats with Grandda (continued)

Don’t deny that polish sorted your growth just there…more than the miracle grow that turned your side yellow. I was trying to help. Really.

Oh stop that pouting, I can feel it from here, whether you’ve got lips or not. You’re half Harkness and we can’t be contained by biology. Every grandfather wants his … Grandson? Granddaughter?

*experimentally picks up coral looking for any new or more pronounced dimpling or … anti-dimples*

Whichever you are, anyone would want you to grow up faster.

You’ve had hundreds of years as it is. When I was a kid we were put out on our own most days as soon as we could walk. Okay bad safety example considering your uncle. Just avoid any time lords looking for a new set of wheels you’ll not be taken away. And if you do see a Timelord? The Doctor? Save us both a lot of trouble. and 1000s years growth time, shell building, travel time with constant sidetrips- Oh I know your mother. No sense of direction coming from that side of the genepool.

But like I was saying, save us the trouble and
-----
And what? WHAT??
HELP
patelyne: (Default)
Sue's leaving for her trip to ComicCon tomorrow - buses take time you know. Even as she sits here judging my Ianto-ish love of labels, my (apparently) bizzare way of posting here, and my sharpie induced drunk-like haze last night I'm still pretty sure she likes how I improved her luggage. Torchwood NZ branding on one side and the T blown up on the other. Harkness on top, of course.





Giant pictures this way )
patelyne: (good times)
Okay so last night I was on messenger with Nikki ([livejournal.com profile] pergirl14)
Sadly she was stuck alone in a frighteningly empty house with only me for company (tragic I know) See a snip of our convo below. Which led us to writing an instruction manual for how to deal with Jack (or any clone/spawn from Jack) written by Ianto…with later “help” from Jack. (I’m purple and she’s the red writing, she went a bit Jack as you can see)

Patti: Watch for ghosts of jilted valentine's day lovers
Nikki: So not funny. I'm already quite scared lol. Although jb will save me.
Patti: he will?
Nikki: He's in my room right now
Patti: And yet you're still on messenger? Is Scott with him?
Nikki: No. He's dressed as cpt jack and looking out the window
Patti: Sometimes Hank dresses as cpt jack, but he usually doesn't just stare out windows. He goes all the way and stands on rooftops instead
Nikki: Lovely. Lol. You know, I reckon a whole clone of jack would just be too much for one person to handle. Save for ianto
Patti: Ianto should do an instruction manual


The Rulebook... )
patelyne: (Default)


My most favorite spy friend personal french teacher [livejournal.com profile] morgia has written another Torchwood squirrel fic for my very own birthday. It features the little stone garden squirrel above that came with the house we just got - She's famous now!!

I ORDER YOU ALL TO READ THE STORY IMMEDIATELY-YOU WON'T BE SORRY!!
It is very awesome & hilarious and she is wonderful and sweet to write it for me!!!

Never trust a squirrel in love <-- click it!!

WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE? GO!! READ IT!!!

STILL HERE?
Well I guess that good, because I want to make sure you also check out this amazing Jack/Ianto art by [livejournal.com profile] kath_ballantyne (I still LOVE that tie pulling!)

I am surrounded by totally talented people. You guys are awesome! Thanks again to everyone :D
patelyne: (good times)
Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes, you guys are the best!!

I have to point out this, from [livejournal.com profile] tardistenantsue (because I am the world's most spoiled brat and she totally rocks) - a delicous Ianto brownie.
I WILL REMEMBER IT FOR A THOUSAND YEARS!!!



I have to admit that even though I want to NOM NOM NOM that nose, I only cut pieces from around the sides so his face is still intact :D

ps If you check out Sue's post Candy even gave me a personalized comment porn ficcy bit - I LOVE YOU TOO CANDY!

pps I can't wait to see what the squirrels have been up to [livejournal.com profile] morgia!

ppps RLBF got me a TARDIS money bank! Woohoo!! Lura saw it and asked if I was going to start bringing home all my tips in change just to make the TARDIS light go off over and over.
patelyne: (Default)
Quick rundown of what I’ve been up to now that I’ve gotten over being crazy sick for so long…
After this I’m off to catch up on all the reading I’ve missed. [livejournal.com profile] amand_r especially - she's been busy with some amazing stuff!! Worst part about being sick was having all the free time but being completely unable to focus.
Also - Not sure if he's around to see this, but... HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICK!

The most random of all posts ever (with pictures!) )
patelyne: (wistful - pushing daisies)
I should be packing. I know this. I have less than a week now. LESS THAN A WEEK!! But instead I sat down and scribbled this little bit out.

I blame the fact that I'm in a great mood (IT'S BALLOON RALLY WEEKEND!!) and Debitha who said, and I quote, "I am trying to envision the clones 'helping' you pack up and move. I'm sure they'd all have excellent intentions..." Like that wasn't going to make my mind wander? Sue also did nothing to discourage me from writing this either. I blame you all, I am the innocent party here! I wanted to pack, really I did!

Ways I continue to put off packing... )
patelyne: (Default)
It was a slow day at work, and I got bored. I suppose I could have cleaned up, restocked, taken inventory … any number of productive things. Instead I wrote this – The thinky thoughts of Patelyne Alemp, acting medic for [livejournal.com profile] ask_twnz. I’m calling it a fic, because I don’t really know what else to call it. Blame it on [livejournal.com profile] ask_theharkni, I figured if the clones are all thinking about themselves then maybe I should too.

When RP leaks into a person’s actual journal…. )
patelyne: (Default)
I totally blame this on a combo of a messenger chat with and the fact I had a bad day. How bad a day? You don’t want to know. No really you don’t. I typed up a whole rant and then deleted it because it was too bitchy for me to even stomach. So what did I do instead? Inner Ianto played RP Chat with Andy [livejournal.com profile] pergirl14, and then later with Jack [livejournal.com profile] tardistenantsue. I sort of had Ianto get run over by Hart. It was a hit and run because Ianto was poking where Hart didn’t think he ought. Yes I took my bad day out on fictional characters. Would you rather I take it out on you? I thought not. So anyhow, when Japonica went to do dull RL things (paint. Ick) and Nikki was sleeping (stupid timey wimey zones) I decided to work on getting Ianto patched up on my own. Least I could do after imagining him into that situation. Except I’m not really sure even that turned out so well…
Anyhow, it's silly and goofy and wierd but I nearly managed to cheer myself up with it so I'm sharing with you guys (especially you guys who abandoned me on messenger!)

Jack Harkness is a shit medic… )
patelyne: (good times)
So today I woke up in a good mood. Seriously super good mood, dumb ass smile and all. I couldn’t figure out why. I couldn’t think of anything earth shatteringly good that had happened lately. Then I thought maybe it was just a combination of little happy things so I made a list. Yes I did this at work, on a yellow order pad and in pen. If you know me then you understand that this is weird (and seems to be occurring much more frequently lately)

In no particular order here are the things that contributed to my good day  )
patelyne: (Default)
[Error: unknown template qotd]

The Ask-Verse Fake Wake, DUH!

See?
patelyne: (janto ianto)
Title: Shhhh….It was Just a Dream (Denial!Fic)

Character(s): Jack/Ianto, mentions of Alice & Steven

Rating: Teen

Spoilers: So called “Season 3” (yes, I’m still a little bitter)

Summary: Children of what? Oh that. Yeah, that never happened. It was just a really horrible bad dream Jack had.

Notes: Special thanks goes to [livejournal.com profile] tardistenantsue, all the peeps in chat and everyone in the Ask_Verse who have helped me in the search to find my Inner!Ianto again. This might not be him at his best, but it is a start (better than giving up, yes?) This is the closest I can come to acknowledging the last season right now. If that makes me a self indulgent crap writer then so be it. I didn’t plan to be a writer in the first place, and if you can’t cut a denialist a little slack right now then when can you? So if you are here to tell me that I can’t avoid new canon because I find it entirely distasteful then please allow Inner!Ianto to show you out. I’ll face what I consider is the travesty of CoE when/if I’m ready. Consider this my reaction post to the season *steps off soap box* Anybody else here thanks for reading and comments are <3 <3 <3 (especially right now)

Pretty sure everyone knows about Children of Earth by now, but just in case here’s a cut anyway )
patelyne: (Default)
I don’t even know why I’m posting. I am so … arghh… all my words are gone. It’s like my very first post when I just sat at my computer trying to stare down the blinking cursor. As if it’s going to fix anything…As if it will bring my words back. As if…

CoE Day Four spoilers - Believe me, happy clappy I am not )
patelyne: (Default)
Would you like to see what I do with my time while I'm waiting for the eternity it takes to download? If so then just head on over to the journal of [livejournal.com profile] tardistenantsue where she oh so very helpfully has posted our messenger chat - I also wrote her a note courtesy of Inner!Ianto to try and get her out of play practice. Since she isn't online anymore I'm guessing it didn't work - you will also see 'sort of' spoilers (since she was watching at the time I was trying to not ask for spoilers), so [livejournal.com profile] morgia you are not allowed to click the clicky until next month (sorry!! but I figure it is better to warn you, yes?)

We are equal parts fun and crazy. Click the clicky and see

Spoilers are here! Turn Back Now If You Don't Want To See!! Morgia I'm Talking To You!!! MY SPOILERY THOUGHTS FROM DAY THREE AHEAD )
patelyne: (good times)
So this morning I’m working away….espresso….mocha….latte….americano….etc etc etc….and one of my regulars gets to the counter and says:

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

Nothing more spoilery than a trailer, but I know some people are avoiding all CoE posts like the plague... )
patelyne: (Angry Ianto)
Title: The Importance of Helmets in Child Care
Character(s): Jack/Ianto, OCs Henry and Sarah (once again borrowed from the ever generous [livejournal.com profile] tardistenantsue )
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None
Notes: Just another bit of silly. In case you haven’t been following Year of the Cat (And why not?!) let me introduce Henry. He would be the little boy that Ianto and Jack have been charged with taking care of for the last little while due to some…unfortunate circumstances. [livejournal.com profile] tardistenantsue has been kind enough to let me borrow her people again, including what we found out about Jack‘s babysitting skills here. I promise to stop stealing her people away eventually. Honest. After a craptastic last couple days I thought some silly happy fic wouldn’t be a bad idea, hope you like it.

What is it about the helmets! )
patelyne: (janto ianto)
Title: Sprinkles
Character(s): Jack/Ianto, OC abused barista
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None
Notes: This shows why I think Ianto should be the only one in charge of making Jack’s coffee. It's a little bit of silliness that I hope amuses you guys. Please note that no dogs were harmed in the writing of this fic. I kind of borrowed the barista from [livejournal.com profile] tardistenantsue. See her in coffee slinging action

Where we see why things would run much more smoothly if Ianto didn’t leave town )
patelyne: (Angry Ianto)
Title: Spare Change
Character(s): Ianto
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None for TW (maybe a tiny blip of a Doctor Who Spoiler for Season 4?)
Notes: Ianto thinks to himself while putting in some time sorting through the archives. Thank you to [livejournal.com profile] tardistenantsue and [livejournal.com profile] candybree for both pushing me and putting up with my whining. You guys are the best!!

Ianto was definitely going to have to revamp the archive system again )

January 2013

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