patelyne: (Default)
Okay tiniest bit of explanation for those not following TWNZ. There is a clone of Jack named Yancy. Yancy got a little friendly with the TARDIS and became ‘with coral’ (read: pregnant) Working theory is that the actual TARDIS (read: mommy) kidnapped the coral from him and travelled back in time to give it to Jack to raise in the hub.

Look at that family photo. Least Jack could have done is smile. Sheesh.
And here’s a lovely solo portrait (Who's a cute baby TARDIS? YOU ARE!!)

So in messenger one day I spouted a random … something. From Jack to his grandbaby coral:

Sand and oatmeal. You're lucky little one. You get a smooth surface and a heat lamp. I had grit and the searing sun. Sure I shove you off the desk occasionally, but Grandda's got needs
Ianto always apologizes and dusts you off after. Toughen up.
Couple days later in messenger:

Sue: g'pa, do you haz any new tales?
Me: *thinks*
Seems weird to raise his own grandkid. Grandkid that looks exactly like his own child with her would have looked. Funny thing, genetics. Guess he didn't miss the opportunity after all.
*adjusts desklamp for optimal exposure to the rays*
Sue: aww - does the grandkid have a name?
Me: not yet
Sue: that's shamefull
Me: says the dad
(she is Yancy, after all)
Sue: in yancy's defence, the TARDIS ran off with him/her/it
Now this one I started in my notebook to share, but I never finished it. I actually stopped mid sentence AND CAN’T REMEMBER WHERE I WAS GOING WITH IT. It was two weeks ago, but still.

One sided chats with Grandda (continued)

Don’t deny that polish sorted your growth just there…more than the miracle grow that turned your side yellow. I was trying to help. Really.

Oh stop that pouting, I can feel it from here, whether you’ve got lips or not. You’re half Harkness and we can’t be contained by biology. Every grandfather wants his … Grandson? Granddaughter?

*experimentally picks up coral looking for any new or more pronounced dimpling or … anti-dimples*

Whichever you are, anyone would want you to grow up faster.

You’ve had hundreds of years as it is. When I was a kid we were put out on our own most days as soon as we could walk. Okay bad safety example considering your uncle. Just avoid any time lords looking for a new set of wheels you’ll not be taken away. And if you do see a Timelord? The Doctor? Save us both a lot of trouble. and 1000s years growth time, shell building, travel time with constant sidetrips- Oh I know your mother. No sense of direction coming from that side of the genepool.

But like I was saying, save us the trouble and
And what? WHAT??
patelyne: (wistful - pushing daisies)
Moving day is even closer now, but the piles of boxes are spreading. I really wish I was done already, and probably should keep moving BUT the mess is starting to intimidate me again. Time for a break?

Jeannie was extremely unhappy with how she was unrepresented in the first chapter and demanded kindly requested I show people how useful she was. Direct quote from her:


She gave me three days, and an offer to turn a writing high five into a writing hug, so I hope she’s happy with my latest effort.

I want to pack, really I do... )
patelyne: (wistful - pushing daisies)
I should be packing. I know this. I have less than a week now. LESS THAN A WEEK!! But instead I sat down and scribbled this little bit out.

I blame the fact that I'm in a great mood (IT'S BALLOON RALLY WEEKEND!!) and Debitha who said, and I quote, "I am trying to envision the clones 'helping' you pack up and move. I'm sure they'd all have excellent intentions..." Like that wasn't going to make my mind wander? Sue also did nothing to discourage me from writing this either. I blame you all, I am the innocent party here! I wanted to pack, really I did!

Ways I continue to put off packing... )
patelyne: (Default)
It was a slow day at work, and I got bored. I suppose I could have cleaned up, restocked, taken inventory … any number of productive things. Instead I wrote this – The thinky thoughts of Patelyne Alemp, acting medic for [ profile] ask_twnz. I’m calling it a fic, because I don’t really know what else to call it. Blame it on [ profile] ask_theharkni, I figured if the clones are all thinking about themselves then maybe I should too.

When RP leaks into a person’s actual journal…. )
patelyne: (Default)
I totally blame this on a combo of a messenger chat with and the fact I had a bad day. How bad a day? You don’t want to know. No really you don’t. I typed up a whole rant and then deleted it because it was too bitchy for me to even stomach. So what did I do instead? Inner Ianto played RP Chat with Andy [ profile] pergirl14, and then later with Jack [ profile] tardistenantsue. I sort of had Ianto get run over by Hart. It was a hit and run because Ianto was poking where Hart didn’t think he ought. Yes I took my bad day out on fictional characters. Would you rather I take it out on you? I thought not. So anyhow, when Japonica went to do dull RL things (paint. Ick) and Nikki was sleeping (stupid timey wimey zones) I decided to work on getting Ianto patched up on my own. Least I could do after imagining him into that situation. Except I’m not really sure even that turned out so well…
Anyhow, it's silly and goofy and wierd but I nearly managed to cheer myself up with it so I'm sharing with you guys (especially you guys who abandoned me on messenger!)

Jack Harkness is a shit medic… )
patelyne: (janto ianto)
Title: Shhhh….It was Just a Dream (Denial!Fic)

Character(s): Jack/Ianto, mentions of Alice & Steven

Rating: Teen

Spoilers: So called “Season 3” (yes, I’m still a little bitter)

Summary: Children of what? Oh that. Yeah, that never happened. It was just a really horrible bad dream Jack had.

Notes: Special thanks goes to [ profile] tardistenantsue, all the peeps in chat and everyone in the Ask_Verse who have helped me in the search to find my Inner!Ianto again. This might not be him at his best, but it is a start (better than giving up, yes?) This is the closest I can come to acknowledging the last season right now. If that makes me a self indulgent crap writer then so be it. I didn’t plan to be a writer in the first place, and if you can’t cut a denialist a little slack right now then when can you? So if you are here to tell me that I can’t avoid new canon because I find it entirely distasteful then please allow Inner!Ianto to show you out. I’ll face what I consider is the travesty of CoE when/if I’m ready. Consider this my reaction post to the season *steps off soap box* Anybody else here thanks for reading and comments are <3 <3 <3 (especially right now)

Pretty sure everyone knows about Children of Earth by now, but just in case here’s a cut anyway )
patelyne: (Default)
So here is the poster that I "fixed" when I was up way too late the other night. Wasn't sure what to do with it, but after I read the sexual harrassment forms from [ profile] phaetonschariot this morning I had to show it off. And since I can't figure out how to make this picture small enough to put in a comment, but still big enough to read the bottom... HEY EVERYONE ON MY FLIST - LOOK AT THIS POSTER JACK MADE!! )
patelyne: (Angry Ianto)
Title: The Importance of Helmets in Child Care
Character(s): Jack/Ianto, OCs Henry and Sarah (once again borrowed from the ever generous [ profile] tardistenantsue )
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None
Notes: Just another bit of silly. In case you haven’t been following Year of the Cat (And why not?!) let me introduce Henry. He would be the little boy that Ianto and Jack have been charged with taking care of for the last little while due to some…unfortunate circumstances. [ profile] tardistenantsue has been kind enough to let me borrow her people again, including what we found out about Jack‘s babysitting skills here. I promise to stop stealing her people away eventually. Honest. After a craptastic last couple days I thought some silly happy fic wouldn’t be a bad idea, hope you like it.

What is it about the helmets! )
patelyne: (janto ianto)
Title: Sprinkles
Character(s): Jack/Ianto, OC abused barista
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None
Notes: This shows why I think Ianto should be the only one in charge of making Jack’s coffee. It's a little bit of silliness that I hope amuses you guys. Please note that no dogs were harmed in the writing of this fic. I kind of borrowed the barista from [ profile] tardistenantsue. See her in coffee slinging action

Where we see why things would run much more smoothly if Ianto didn’t leave town )
patelyne: (Angry Ianto)
Title: Spare Change
Character(s): Ianto
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None for TW (maybe a tiny blip of a Doctor Who Spoiler for Season 4?)
Notes: Ianto thinks to himself while putting in some time sorting through the archives. Thank you to [ profile] tardistenantsue and [ profile] candybree for both pushing me and putting up with my whining. You guys are the best!!

Ianto was definitely going to have to revamp the archive system again )
patelyne: (Angry Ianto)
Title: Booze and a Bell - How Could That Possibly Go Wrong?
Characters: Jack/Ianto, Owen (mentions of the Master and the Doctor)
Rating: Teen
Spoilers: Info up through Season 3 of Doctor Who. Strangely enough no TW spoilers…
Disclaimer: Don’t own any of them. If I did the world would be a much sadder place because I would keep them trapped here in my tiny little town and make them put on plays for my own amusement
Note: Why does Ianto keep a bell over by the espresso machine? This is one of the ideas I came up with after spending far to much time analyzing the things hanging around Ianto’s station.
Was meant to be crack to amuse [ profile] candybree but after talking to [ profile] tardistenantsue she got some angst in my crack (wow another thing that sounds dirty, we are compiling quite a list today). Thanks you guys, even though I whine and cry when you try to make me a writer I do love you both. Anyhow I’ve decided to actually try this whole writing thing and see what all the fuss is about, hope you like it.

Don‘t mess with a Welshman with a bell. Just Don’t. )
patelyne: (Angry Ianto)
Non-Author Note: Here is this thing that I hate - not really sure what to call it…too short to be fic…I don’t know (remember? Not a writer) I’m not even really sure why I wrote it and where it came from, other than the fact I sat too long in the rain yesterday morning. I’m sorry to have made Ianto all mopey, especially as I myself don’t particularly like him to be. Please don’t hurl hate at me as I was forced to post this by my “wives” who claim to like it. So thanks (I think) [ profile] tardistenantsue and [ profile] candybree

Here I make Ianto sit in the rain )
patelyne: (Angry Ianto)
I’m not a writer. Really, I’m not! You can’t make me be a writer!! Blame this on [ profile] tardistenantsue, The Year of the Cat and a little song called Optimistic

Martha watched on as Jack rushed from his office. He gave her a wide smile and a mock salute as he ran off. She wondered what had Jack in such a rush he hadn’t taken the time to put his coat on properly…
Wandering into his office Martha saw a pile of papers lying on the floor. As she bent to pick them up she couldn’t help but take a peek…..

Lesson to Jack - All companions, current and former, tend to wander. Be sure to pick up after yourself if you want to have any privacy...  )

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